Broken Record

It is hard to keep a connection going especially when we live in a disconnected connected world. Many has enjoyed the sweet melody spun out from various connection strings, some of us are enjoying it, while for some of us, well, it is a case of listening to the sound from a broken record... It is SHIT! And it goes like this...

How many times do we have to try
How many times do we have to cry
Staying up all night trying to figure it out
How did this flame got burned out
Why do we argue and always shout
Making all those sweet feelings go south
How many times many times do we have to feel this pain
It is like a game with no gain
We've played it out so many time
And at every time it is never fine
Why do we feel like a broken record that can never play right
Leaving us broken hearted with sleepless night

We are left with questions why
Why did all those moment fly
What exactly didn't we try
Now the well of love is all dry
All gone to our eyes as tears when we cry
Does it matter if we feel all vulnerable
We can cater to us and make it all memorable
We can create a future that is all favourable
Lets carry on carry on because we have to be fine
We've played it out so many time
But this time it taste like bad wine
Why do we feel like a broken record that can never play right
Leaving us broken hearted with sleepless night.

Run Rat Run

I dey fear some kin things oh. Things like rat, snake, and a woman's wrath, but certainly not bats like my dear Vera. No, not bats. I remember some years back on my way back home from slushing with a friend, and just very close to my house (in warri), I saw something moving in the grasses nearby, I thought to myself: "that's peculiar". So I paused. Lo and behold, a snake! A big ass one for that matter! The highness immediately clear from my eye, and na so I cut out (for those who don't know what that is, ask my dear sister waffarian). Somethings and the unNaked Soul don't just mix.

Just yesterday, I was on my way to get some grub. I was waltzing on my street minding my own business like I don't give a shit (Tu baba... lol). Na so one bizi bodi rat just jump on the pavement twaa! One mind told me to pause, the other said run. I obeyed the former. And before I go say "who go buy bread" the bastard the size of a rabbit started approaching me, apparently in fear. Me sef dey fear. Two fear come jam, confusion come start. I ran to the left, the idiot did the same. I say shuuoo. I ran to the right, the cocky bastard did the same. See me trouble oh! Na so I accelerate to the extreme right, ran past the obviously over fed rat who is already on my left, and dashed like a Hermes on an errand for Zeus.

There are somethings I just don't want to come in contact with or experience. If you think say you strong pass me, call me on this number and I go give you address to an event where dem dey give award to people wey strong pass unNaked Soul. No laughing oh, am unNakedly serious.

Serenade for a lady

This post is inspired by a woman, for a woman, and by a woman's man... you know who you are *wink*

This is for the lady that lives in the west
whose lifestyle doesn't blend with the rest
Take your hands off your face and place it on your waist
Raise your hip to the left
bend your lips and do the nasty grin
Snap your right finger and do the tap tap
'cause right now you're about to start a journey to the top top

Don't let the honey of life to pass you by
'cause honey, it's yours till you say goodbye
Even though when situation seem out of control
it's no reason to seat at the back row
Snap your fingers and do the tap tap
It's a recipe for the journey to the top top

I know it might seem a cliche to say everything will be alright
especially when everything don't seem so bright
But remember, it's just a phase
even though e be like say you wan dey crase
All you have to do is press erase
then take it back and press play
Never dwell in your mistakes
or drown in the spit of these fakes
'cause they'll do whatever it takes just to make you break
Please wake up to the snap of the finger doing tap tap
or you can dream of the journey to the top top

oh baby I know it's about time
to realize that life doesn't have to taste like lime
'cause you can dine and order for the finest wine
tap tap to the top top

-unNaked Soul

Revosexual

This is a continuation from my previous post. And I should say this again, it's high time I get the Oscar of sleepless-night-with-no-life discoveries and contributions to humanity a.k.a Nobel Prize. I can see my self shinning my 27 to the whole world in Geneva or Antwerp or wereva dem dey hold that bizzybodi event.

Anyways, today am adding a new word to the lifestyle dictionary, and as you must done know already, the word is "REVOSEXUAL"

A Revosexual is a modern man or woman with sexual or lifestyle attributed to my fantasies or commonly attributed to inspire folks who write for magazines such as Vogue, GQ, Playboy, and 69 ways of KamaSutra (don't go searching for it oh, it just jumped right out of my head.. he he he). These people believe that the best way to get engaged is by intuition and intelligence. They are so evolved that they have everything at the tip of their game. They've revolutionize the norm and do not conform to it, and will not settle for it. They believe that the missionary style is a sick joke by a tired retard and will only use it in a funkified manner that will make a Retrosexuals puke with disgust.

And I know very very very few Revosexuals... they run things... things don't run them... by their ways you shall know... its the unNaked thang *wink*

Retrosexual

Early this morning, 1:20am to be precise, I was watching Mint on some Naija TV channel that I can't seem see the name (weird). Anyways, the show is about giving away some cool dollars to whoever call to answer some in-your-face questions with some funny accent babes (one of 'em is a cute lepa shandy and her name's Tandy)... Anyway, that's not the gist.

I have found a new word for those of us who still cling to the old ways of expressing themselves sexually, either via dating or shagging. The word as you must done guess by now is "Retrosexual" (it is not in the dico so I should get a Nobel Prize *he he he*)

A Retrosexual is a modern man or woman with sexual or lifestyle attributed to my great-great-great-grand forefathers or commonly attributed to "old school" folks. These people still believes that the best way to get engaged is by following a culture centric process or still think anything other than the missionary style is a free first class ticket to foolishness. They maintain a lifestyle you can only find in "Tales by moonlight" or in "Things fall apart" (For those of use who are not familiar with these two references, please seek google)

I know a few Retrosexual babes and guys... a few blogger are as well... yes, you know thyself... I can tell by the way you blog regardless of the fronting... don't worry, I won't expose you *wink*

Another Personality Thingy

I got this just a few hours ago and I thought I should share it. Have fun... yours truely is a bloody MOUSE... quite describes me sha... warahell!!! lol

January 01 - 09 ~ Dog
January 10 - 24 ~ Mouse
January 25 - 31 ~ Lion
February 01 - 05 ~ Cat
February 06 - 14 ~ Dove
February 15 - 21 ~ Turtle
February 22 - 28 ~ Panther
March 01 - 12 ~ Monkey
March 13 - 15 ~ Lion
March 16 - 23 ~ Mouse
March 24 - 31 ~ Cat
April 01 - 03 ~ Dog
April 04 - 14 ~ Panther
April 15 - 26 ~ Mouse
April 27 - 30 ~ Turtle
May 01 - 13 ~ Monkey
May 14 - 21 ~ Dove
May 22 - 31 ~ Lion
June 01 - 03 ~ Mouse
June 04 - 14 ~ Turtle
June 15 - 20 ~ Dog
June 21 - 24 ~ Monkey
June 25 - 30 ~ Cat
July 01 - 09 ~ Mouse
July 10 - 15 ~ Dog
July 16 - 26 ~ Dove
July 27 - 31 ~ Cat
August 01 - 15 ~ Monkey
August 16 - 25 ~ Mouse
August 26 - 31 ~ Turtle
September 01 - 14 ~ Dove
September 15 - 27 ~ Cat
September 28 - 30 ~ Dog
October 01 - 15 ~ Monkey
October 16 - 27 ~ Turtle
October 28 - 31 ~ Panther
November 01 - 16 ~ Lion
November 17 - 30 ~ Cat
December 01 - 16 ~ Dog
December 17 - 25 ~ Monkey
December 26 - 31 ~ Dove

If you are a Dog : A very loyal and sweet person. Your loyalty can never be doubted. You are quite honest and sincere when it comes to your attitude towards working. You are a very simple person, indeed. Absolutely hassle free, humble and down-to-earth! ! That explains the reason why your friends cling on to you! You have a good taste for clothes. If your wardrobe is not updated with what is trendy, you sure are depressed. Popular and easy-going. You have a little group of dignified friends, all of them being quality-personified .

If you are a Mouse : Always up to some sort of a mischief! The mischievous gleam in your eyes is what makes you so cute and attractive to everyone. You are an extremely fun-to-be-with kind of person. No wonder people seek for your company and look forward to include you for all get-together' s. However, you are sensitive which is a drawback. People need to select their words while talking to you. If someone tries to fiddle around and play with words while dealing with you, it is enough to invite your wrath. God bless the person then!

If you are a Lion: Quite contradictory to your name, you are a peace loving person. You best try to avoid a situation wherein you are required to fight. An outdoor person, you dislike sitting at one place for a long duration. You are a born leader, and have it in you how to tactfully derive work from people. You love being loved, and when you receive your share of limelight from someone, you are all theirs!!!! Well, well... hence some people could even take an advantage, flatter you to the maximum and get their work done. So be careful.....

If you are a Cat : An extremely lovable, adorable person, sometimes shy, with a passion for quick wit. At times, you prefer quietness. You love exploring various things and going into depth of each thing. Under normal circumstances you're cool but when given a reason to, you are like a volcano waiting to erupt. You're a fashion bird. People look forward to you as an icon associated with fashion. Basically, you mingle along freely but don't like talking much to strangers. People feel very easy in your company. You observe care in choosing your friends.

If you are a Turtle : You are near to perfect and nice at heart. The examples of your kindness are always circulated in groups of people. You, too, love peace. You wouldn't like to retaliate even to a person who is in the wrong. You are loved due to this. You do not wish to talk behind one's back. People love the way you always treat them. You can give, give and give love, and the best part is that you do not expect it back in return. You are generous enough. Seeing things in a practical light is what remains the best trait of you guys.

If you are a Dove : You symbolize a very happy-go-lucky approach in life. Whatever the surroundings may be, grim or cheerful, you remain unaffected. In fact, you spread cheer wherever you go. You are the leader of your group of friends and good at consoling people in their times of need. You dislike hypocrisy and tend to shirk away from hypocrites. They can never be in your good books, no matter what. You are very methodical and organized in your work. No amount of mess, hence, can ever encompass you. Beware, it is easy for you to fall in love....

If you are a Panther : You are mysterious. You are someone who can handle pressure with ease, and can handle any atmosphere without going berserk. You can be mean at times, and love to gossip with your selected group. Very prim and proper. You like all situations and things to be in the way you desire, which, sometimes is not possible. As a result, you may lose out in some relationships. But otherwise, you love to help people out from difficult and tight spots when they really need you.

If you are a Monkey : Very impatient and hyper!!! You want things to be done as quick as possible. At heart, you are quite simple and love if you are the center of attraction. That way, you people are unique. You would like to keep yourself safe from all the angles. Shall your name be dragged or featured in any sort of a controversy, you then go all panicky. Therefore, you take your precautions from the very beginning. When you foresee anything wrong, your sixth sense is what saves you from falling in traps. Quite a money minded bunch you people are!!

Pink Crisis

Please everybody that has come in contact with my blog, I really need your help. This is one of the many times I shall be needing your help in matters that affect my unNaked Life. This is very serious and I wish to know the extent (in terms of damage if there is) of this new found characteristics of unNaked Soul.

Just last week, it happened. And I thought to myself, maybe its just a simple mistaken technicolorties... A glitch in my Color Processing Module. But alas! Just three days ago, it happened again. And again. And again. Oh My God! What am I going to do? Please somebody help me. AM IN LOVE WITH PINK! bbbbwwwwwwwaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!

Just this morning, I turned IM text color to PINK, and my IM color theme to PINK. And to make matter worse, I got a hard on just thinking of PINK or seeing the color PINK... An NO! I ain't gay... Am so straight that if my shit touches you, you'll cum... am straight like that ladies.

But what is the reason for this new found love for PINK? and so strong that I get a hard on? Any color therapist in blogville? HELP!

The Legend of SAD

Have you ever imagined why in the old days, and even today, you find that many men and women do crazy shit just to have a male child? I've read and seen many marriages brake up due to the fact that there was no male issue to bind them. This happens especially in Africa & Asia.

Now make una listen wellu well. Abegii oh, make una listen wellu well. LOL

The Legend of Sons And Daughters

In the human subconscious mind (in the depths of your soul), holds the blueprints of creation, survival, and replenishment. I once read that the greatest and most precious secret in life is hidden inside of man. Hmm, no wonder all of creation is battling to either enslave or save man. And the Continuation is in the hands of the two genders that make up man, else the secret will be lost forever... a SAD twist.

Daughters are the keeper of the gate. The ones that open the gate for another life form to come into our existence. They are the Bearer of Continuum, without which, existence as we know it will slowly but sure end. Their male offspring can only refer to her male companion's father as their true grandfather, but never her own father. She as a doorway breaks the direct linage of her father to her offspring and offers the baton to her companion's father (If she bears a son). Meaning that, if they believe in reincarnation or a comeback, they cannot come through their daughter's offspring. Daughters can refer to both their maternal & paternal grandparents and their true grandparents (It is of no consequence).

Sons are the keeper of the line. The ones with the ticket for rebound. They are the bearer of the baton of continuum, without which, existence as we know it will slowly but sure end. Their male offspring through their female companion keeps the line in check (and straight), and for generation after generation, if this line is kept straight, it gives him a chance to comeback within that line if he believes in reincarnation or a comeback. Their male offspring can only refer to their father as his true grandfather and not their companion's father. Because their companion has passed the baton to his father.

Have you ever heard what LINE Jesus of Nazareth came from? the LINE of David. And If your read your bible better than I do, you'll see how the LINE was traced... and guess what? They were all direct line of the SONS of SONS of SONS of SONS of.... of David... no mention of Daughters.... down to Joseph. Read Genesis and see the genealogy trace of people, what was mentioned were the LINE of SONS, and not of DAUGHTERS.

Why do you think many cultures die to have male offspring? Many royal line cut off due to no 'true' heir to the throne. Many families broken due to inability to produce a male offspring. Strong men fall because they know subconsciously that their COMEBACK ticket has been denied of them. Daughters require no specific LINE to comeback... the choice is usually theirs, either to come from the offspring of their Son or of their Daughter.

And guess what? Most culture blame the Bearer of Continuum... SAD

If you have any question, please ask. And hey, I didn't read this anywhere, It just came WABAAAM! Just one of the many unNaked Sounds I hear when am alone.

Lets go to Heaven

This whole existence shit is politics and mind games
Cos if it isin't, then everybody's got to go to heaven

Creation is just the result of someone's maturbation
and religion is just covering or trying to understand the guilt
and if am wrong, then everybody's got to go to heaven

If beauty lies in the the eyes of the beholder
then ulgyliness lies in the nakedness of the beholder
ask any question about it, and everybody's got to go to heaven

Explain to me why a perfect world called eden is hidden
cos if it isn't, then everybody's got to go to heaven

In the absence of God is the presence of god
Cos if it isin't, then everybody's got to go to heaven

Why is it that sometimes when we push the buzzer we don't get the buzz back?
and if I'm wrong, then everybody's got to go to heaven

I need someone to explain to me why Jesus was murdered by the other
in order for there to be order
Cos if no one can, then everybody's got to go to heaven

We know Religion warfare is not fair but yet we partake in this game
of whose imaginary friend is the biggest and the fairest
Cos if I'm wrong, then everybody's got to go to heaven

See children crying and dying, yet people are buying and dining
Cos if am lying, then everybody's got to go to heaven

Please someone explain to me how the serpent got into the garden to tempt with that which is exempted right there in the garden of the Almightand how mighty is serpent which tempt the image of the Almight?
Cos if you can't, then everybody's got to go to heaven

Now, it beats me to wonder many things. How can you explain this, that the All Wise agreed(?) to war against it creation just to prove a point (What point?). That he's greater? Has is not occur to anyone that the fact the the All Wise created that which is challenging the All Wise is enough proof? Why suffer many generations to hell when all of this could have ended with just a word?

Please tell me all this happening is a sort of Training Camp for something you and I don't know, and that everything is a game... Cos if it isn't, then everybody's got to go to heaven.

Some Weddings are made of these

Have you ever thought about this for a moment? Imagine at a wedding ritual:

Presiding Officer: Dear Lord(?), we are gathered here today to witness the joing of X & O in holy(?) matrimony yada yada yada... If you have any vows please do recite them...

Groom: (thots/action: balls sweating. is this neccessary?)

Bride: (thots: You berra have something nice to say, else...)

Groom: uhm... O, bla bla bla bla (after sipping enough champagne or paraga - as the case may be - the night before, while thinking of the nasty fuck he had during his B-Eve his pallies organized for him)

Bride: (smiling like a lottery winner, and nodding like agama lizard wey fall from 10 storey building)

Bride: X... bla bla bla (sweet words just to make her chief brides maid burst a boob and die with envy) (Thots: bitch, why did you think I choose you as my chief brides maid? To of course ridicule your single ass with a grand celebration, and remind you that I beat your sorry ass to 'legal' screwing)

Parents of X & O: (smiling sheepishly like an olopa who has been tipped with N100, while looking to see if their invited guest whose kid hasn't gotten the ring yet ain't dozing away)

Presiding Officer: Repeat after me... For berra, For woss...

Bride: (thots: akoba! you dey swear for us ni? it berra not get woss...) For berra, For woss...

Groom: (thots: MFK! wo woman, you berra pray it doesn't woss, cos I won't hesitate to pimp you or take you do owo. the choice is yours) For berra, For woss..

Presiding Officer: For Risha, For Pora

Bride: (thots: you berra stay rich. bo ya lo mo. Jide, Emeka, and Umar dey on queue.) For Risha, For Pora (Ewo! Remain small I for talk say For Recharge, For Bora)

Groom: (thots: omo, hope you add prayer join that your yan?) For Risha, For Pora

Presiding Officer: In siknes, In Hellt...

Bride: (thots: Yeee! I forget to do HIV test this morning sha! What if this MFK has gone to ko gbo gbo jagbajantis from lastnight? shit, I forgot to use CD with richard last night. put you shit together girl!) In siknes, In Hellt...

Groom: (thots: wait oh! shei, I used a CD last night? oh gbosa! was too drunk to remember... I think I used...) In Siknes, In hellt...

Presiding Officer: Till death do us part...

Bride: (thots: abi na swear? na by force?) Till death do us part...

Groom: (thots: so convenient for you to say abi... well patapata, I go take fulltime aristo degree with honours) Till death do us part...

Presiding Officer: If there is anyone here who would not want these two couples to be joined togther, please speak now or forever hold your peace... (MFK, they were not invited)

Bride: (thots/action: heart beating fast... what is this man waiting for now? why is he asking such a stupid question sef? *hiss*)

Groom: (thots/action: heart beating fast... I hope dem girls gorked my vacation in sokoto story?)

Presiding Officer: By the one thing one thing one thing, I now pronouced you man and wife... you may kiss the bride

Both: (LTAO! Only if this guy know wetin we don do, he for talk say, you may shag the bride... in public... ignorance is bliss!)

LMAO! unNaked must be going WACKO! LOL! But seriously, I wanna know: Why is it that when we naija peeps get to the 'you may kiss the bride' part, dem go dey do like say dem no sabi kiss, weras, we sabi straff pass rabbit on heat? Oh! You no want make you poosie or momsie burst a vessel? well, you have a point... NOT!!! But heck, I love knowing that people are getting married, even though I've never been to a wedding before... I only see people doing it on TV...

unNaked soul, Over & Out...

V Virus

It has come to common knowledge that there is a virus on the loose in blogville. As a marraof fact, this virus has a name. For complexity sakes, the name of the virus can be derived from Virus Extraodinaire Running Amuck. Now let me analyze this virus so that when you come across it, you can detect it and use any antivirus (horny to be precise) of your choice to tackle it.

Volatile when responding to blog post
Has attributes related to counting dracula in sesame street
Engages in aggressive take over of any file with extention .bf
Has a fetish for attacking folders that has a shoe file
Stores self in your history so you cannot possibly delete, and will do a come back on you
Has a G.U.Y firmware labeled Horn to tha NY in the boot(y) sector.
Networks with the Russian KGB
Not a stranger in Moscow unlike MJ
Deep cover collabo with a victim under operation tminxamebo 007 to solve a mystery XYZ

I'll keep you in touch with more information as it reaches our GPS Virus Tracking System. Best way to ward this virus off is to.... oops, sorry, incoming distress call from our satelite station... will get back to you (if we survive the first wave)... *wink*