Wednesday, November 29, 2006

The Law of things to come

I have said once or more (in my head) that conservative people do not have capacity enough to create/derive the neccessary blueprint to run a system. It is the assertively progressive people who do. Hence, the voice in my head says, "The assertively progressive people create/derive the lifestyle (the system blueprint) of our world and lay it before the conservative people to preserve".

That is by the way, I wish to digress no further.

Many many many things have I observed within and around my existence. Have you every noticed (self or otherwise) that the things you want turns out to be that thing that controls you? Until you get that which you want, every other thing weighs low on your scale of priorities.

You might say "it's only natural". But have you ever imagined that these wants (or needs) have certain laws that governs it, and when your wanting (or needing) these wants (or needs), you are automatically within the "control area" of the laws that govern that which you seek. Confused? For you to get what you want (or need), you'll have to observe the laws that governs the existence of that want (or need).

Still confused? Think; Clothese, Shoes, Food, House, Family, Friends, Child(ren), power, job, 42" HD plasma TV, BMW 1 series, Office at Petronas Tower, that cute sister with the right attitude (or cute & humourous brother with the sensitive touch), Free shopping at any Gucci/D&G shop, and the most important of all... GOD.

What I would like to understand is: are these laws flexible, breakable, or plain ol'rigid? If you have the answer please do not hesistate to let me know. In the mean time, how in control are you in control of that which controls you?


Tuesday, November 21, 2006


Sitting on a semi-silent night, save for the sound from crickets and the neighbour's annoying sort-of-silent generator, combing through this hay ban that is my life searching for the proverbial needle so tiny yet so significant (I think). Many a time like this one, have I sat on that body that is not my body to observe the body that I have that is me. It is like I am bound by some incomprehensible laws that defines my actions, sound and motion alike. The laws of anima and extrinsic experiences. I seek that which makes eutopia seem like a place in my backyard. I fight the four corners of my cornerless dreams, I fight that wish doesn't exist.

I am trapped between two strong wind determined to sail my boat to the deepest ends of their world. I, once in a while, hide cowardly behind the tree of dual personality when in truth I have a dual problem to deal with personally.

I look and see the flaws in my actions, sound and motion alike. I pule at the sight of oppurtunities missed and embarrassments embraced. How did I ever do that? Didn't I see this coming? Hey, but the signs are clear! What was I thinking?!

My life is fun some people say. They say I don't give a care in the world. That persona is one of the many ropes that is guiding me through the maze in this jungle that i call my life. I've spent many of my silent years wishing for what princes dare wish for and for that wish peasants toil for. I have lost sight of the norm. I have defined my own. Built with stones carved out my experiences, with metal from my mental understanding of ever expanding memory, and painted with visions of that wish I seek to achieve. My life is complicated!

101 things cannot define me. 101 things can give you a clue where to find me. 101 can lead you to 101 roads. I am right here. Where is here?

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Man in three forces

I have always knew since I knew that there are three characters that make a man (Male & Female). The trinity is in everyone. Now this trinity is not the same "Holy" trinity that some of us have learnt from bible school, church, parents, or whoever you've been listening to, but the voices in your head. I figured that there are three of them.

1. The voice who wants you to do what is "tagged" as negative.
2. The voice who wants you to do what is "tagged" as positive, and
3. The ear who listens to the conversation of both voice and gets to actualize who wins the debate. The neutral.

Everything has trinty. First we thought the atom was the smallest indivisible part of any matter, now we've seen that the atom contains three elements that defines it... anyways, that's chemistry...

The most confusing part of this is that we tell ourselves that all three voices are ours (so it seem, so it might be) . Cowards call the negative one the "bad guy", the positive one the "good guy", and the neutral one as self. The truth is how do you tell... cos sometimes the one that seem to be the bad guy wins the debate and when you execute his advice, you win! And sometimes the one that seem to be the good guy wins a debate and when you execute his advice, you loose! How annoying right? Maybe its a trick, so you'll never get to know who is who...

One truth is, they are all you. The Positive, The Negative, and the Neutral... all you! Have you noticed that all have the same voice? your voice!