Tuesday, January 23, 2007


No, not Post Menstrual Aggro (You know that horny feeling you girls get after your monthly bloody crusade).

I remember like yesterday, some few years back when I had serious issues/situations to deal with. I just started becoming independent, quite younger and with no one to depend on (My bad actually, 'cos I love my independence, and I love getting things done - myself). No regrets, I was wired that way. Anyways, during those period, I was in a deep shit. With no money, and a proper shelter (I just wanted to be alone from all what I regard as wahala - rules & sh?t. I just wanted to make it on my own - yes selfish, but I was positive), I was funked up!

But one thing that stood by me all through these times, aside the fact that some unseen forces dem dey kampe for my behind and forward, was my power of positive imagination and fantasies. Regardless of my issues, I kept a positive mental attitude. Yes, as tough as things were, I was positive. I was perhaps against some ef'd up odds, yet my fantasies kept me safe from the reality that was before me.

I proceed from one level to the next, and proceeded and still proceeding... Most people will perhaps just accept it as it is/was and bitch about every thing under the seen and unseen beautiful stars, but I held on to my fantasy like a live line on "who wants to be a millionaire" .

One advice I can share with anyone is, regardless of the situation (like someone said, there are no problems, just situations...) is, keep it positive. I usually use this as a case study: Imagine you are trapped on a deserted Island. If you sit by the shores and wail like Bob Marley and the wailers, you will spend the rest of your miserable existence high on frustration. But if you wander (like I wander in my own fantasy), there is a huge chance that you'll stumble on materials to build a raft, gather food, and sail away to civilization. Or imagine you find yourself a safe with diamonds as its content with a dial lock. If you keep staring at the funker without doing anything, the funker will stare back at ya. But since you have nothing to loose, you can keep tossing those numbers and somehow someway, the ef'er will sha open.

It will cost you nothing to dream or fantasize. But always take a peep at reality to see where you can lay the blueprint of your fantasies on the platform of "known reality". Regardless of the jam you find yourself, imagine positive things, and somehow you shall be paid for your efforts. Life only gives to those who give onto it. And Live thrives on our ability to conceptualize, to dream, to fantasize. Everything you know or believe in comes from a concept, dream, or fantasy. From you - (your papa and mama fantasy is the result of the yanshing wey produce you, and Life responded by give you... life!) - to that cute shoe or jeans you've got.

Sometimes it seem crazy, but never be negative, and you'd be surprise what you'll find... Good luck while you dream, but take it from a man who knows, dreamland is vast, and there is a chance you'll get lost.

Stay positive!

A food for thought: A war is most fierce when you can't place a face to the enemy - unNaked Soul.

Saturday, January 20, 2007

Quite Frankly Meme (It's fun, try it)

These questions I got into my small head some 10years ago (1997) when the internet was still at its infancy, and when people asked the question: "What's an email?" Well I had this hotmail account then that I used for subscribing to everything under the internet sun... and I got this FWDE from someone... I beseech y'all (and send to peeps on your list as well) to answer according to the instructions, and I shall tell you what everything you respond to means... Just comment using your blogger ID and I shall visit your blog with the meaning thereof...


Question 1:
Imagine you are in a desert (are you there?);
Now imagine a ladder (are you seeing it?);
Now what is the position of the ladder? i.e Lying down, Resting on something, Standing alone...

Image a horse in that same desert (are you there?);
What is the colour of the horse?
What is the horse doing?

Question 3:
Come back to reality...
Give three reasons why you like water.

Question 4:
What is your favourite colour?
Give the three reasons why you like that colour.

Question 5:
What is your favourite animal (Even if you don't like, what would it be if you do?)
Give three reasons why you like/would like that animal.

Question 6:
Imagine you wake up in a white room with no door, and no window.
What will be your first reaction?
What will be your reaction afterwards?

Question 7:
Without thinking, name two opposite sex names that are not your family member.

Question 8:
Without thinking, name someone from your family member.

Question 9:
Name anyone, same sex or otherwise, that is not a family member.

Question 10:
List four of your favourite music title

Question 11:
List four of your favourite location/city.

Last One:
Arrange these animals according to your preference:
Tiger, Sheep, Cow, Monkey, Eagle

Just send me a comment with your blog link, and I shall tell you the result of your response... Have FUN!!!

My Fears

Waking up in the middle of the night being engulfed in the fright that has become part of my life. I see them in the faces that I gave them.

They chase me for no reason other that to make me feel intimidated or inadequate. How I hate the fate as it unfolds, for they seem to me that I have been place in a lead case with no where to race to unless I wake up from my sleep - which is like my saving grace.

Can I control these things as they appear in row like they have being burrowed from the depth of my soul?

How come I know how to elude these forms and those that are with me or around me don't? Does it matter that I am an escapist by nature?

I wish to fight and control it. And Once, I let my self slide into this abyss of the unknown. And as much I felt like I was loosing my life, that flight was gentle and peaceful.

I have many interpretation for the things I see, perceive, or visions in my head, but it doesn't seem like am heading anywhere. I am afraid.

My fears are... brittle, but they regenerate... they exist!

If someone knows that creator's number, please dial... For I know it's not 911.

unSpoken Words

Forgive me for loosing my childhood to the world of illusion...
Forgive me for assuming everything around me is all about me...
Forgive me for being so unassuming instead of taking charge...
Forgive me for being silent when I should have voiced out...
Forgive me for not being able to control my metabolism...
Forgive me for being unable to tell the difference between friendship and family...
Forgive me for not being able to control the tears...
Forgive me for not being able to understand the meaning of culture...
Forgive me for not being able to control my desires...
Forgive me for taking that which you did not give to me...
Forgive me for not asking...
Forgive me for not taking permission...
Forgive me for learning through a very weird internal process...
Forgive me for lying to you...
Forgive me for being so open...
Forgive me for having mixed feelings...
Forgive me for being so diplomatic...
Forgive me for being so proud...
Forgive me for sending the wrong signals...
Forgive me for leading you through a path that you where not prepared for...
Forgive me for not being able to cater to your needs when you needed me...
Forgive me for dwelling on your flaws...
Forgive me for seeing things that I shouldn't have...
Forgive me for blaming you for the outcome of my life...
Forgive me for being so independent that it hurts...
Forgive me for loosing touch of what is...
Forgive me for getting irritated for the slightest reason...
Forgive me for choosing certain situation over real issues...
Forgive me for hiding behind the curtain of my illusion...
Forgive me for getting angry when I should have stayed calm...
Forgive me for being so unfaithful...
Forgive me for giving you no regard whatsoever...
Forgive me for not appreciating you...
Forgive me for being so stubborn...
Forgive me for judging you before you and behind your back...
Forgive me for yelling...
Forgive me for being so insensitive...
Forgive me for trying to be perfect for you...
Forgive me for being so responsible for self only...
Forgive me for not saying thank you...

These unSpoken words is dedicate all those whom I've met, in a moment or longer, in the course of my existence here on earth; those who have play both physical and emotional roles in this life of mine; those who watch guard over me when I sleep or slip; those I have met physically or otherwise; Family, Friends, and Foes... For this is the only life that I know... and If I loose it, I wish to loose it to the winning side... here or hereafter... SHALOM

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Instrument of Kiss

If there's something I love more than sleeping and breathing is kissing... yes! K-I-S-S-I-N-G. I can't seem to understand the reason the person who invented or initiated the first kiss has. But I tell you, whatever it is, he did a pretty good job finding that hidden feeling behind a process that I call "Singing using Nature's own harmonica!" The melody is mind blowing (sometimes embarrassing, but amazing).

I remember my first (how can I forget?!). I was naive, and clueless. J. That's her name. She's a wild girl who dates older boys. Met her at a friends house, apparently my friend's elder brother his eyes on her. I was only 16 then. Yes! 16. A quiet and unassuming 16 year old for that matter. We got talking and she won't let me go. She kept stressing how she's older than me with 5days (what's with girls and age anyways? - well that's a topic for another post).

The next day she came over to my house but I wasn't home. She checked later in the day, and said she really liked my company (I used to think I'm the most boring person to hang around with cos I practically don't say much.) Well, we got yanning about this and that. She has these eyes that I could kill for (M-E-N). Anyways, in between teaching her how to play Mario on a Gameboy console and getting extremely close, I just felt it... SWOOSH... My First Kiss... My lips got dis-virgined... The feeling was.. OH MY GOD! And she took my face and from nowhere, I had this unbelievable kissing skills. We kissed, and kissed, and kissed, and kissed, and kissed...

We only dated for like 2 months(?) or so, and all we ever did was KISS. And from that day on, I became a Kiss Addict. I remember one time I was dating this girl, C, and my friend, U, and his girlfriend, N, thought it would be fun if we could do a kissing competition. We kissed like forever, until my friends girlfriend got tired and said "unNaked, you and C are nuts!" and she broke the kiss with U.

I find it so uncomfortable to shag when my partner is not a killer kisser. The superstar natural harmonica player. I have devised so many kissing styles, hen. The silent melody. The hush melody. The wild melody. The still pulse.

That's why any day, anytime, I'll always trip for a well shaped lips, and a long tongue. I can, because of that commit KISS. These two put together are the real INSTRUMENT OF KISS.

Turn to your neighbor and give 'em a KISS to day. And remember, a KISS a day saves life... and while you are at it, enjoy the rhythm.

Friday, January 12, 2007

Now Shut up and Live!

Dedicated to ONB: Directly to those who chastise those who are greater than them.

I once traveled into the deep of a bushland just to observe nature, I saw [plants] with different attributes/qualities.

I once went to a zoo, and I saw [animals] with different characteristics.

I flew many times and I observed the [waters] has different shades and perimeter they cover

I've walked many miles and observed the change of [atmospheric] conditions.

I've kept and been with [birds] of different nature and sweet songs.

I've kept and seen fishes of different shades, beauty, and lifestyle.

I've live a [life] with multiple experiences and persona.

I've had [relationships] and at every instance is a different romance.

I've had [sex] and the feeling is overwhelming & spontaneous.

I've have seen [humanity] presenting its attribute in race, creed, religion, culture, and history.

And the biggest sinner of all is the one that claims to be the most intelligent... HUMAN-ity! Wants all of existence to conform to its own idea of existence.

The devil is that which you won't let no one knows exist. We put the devil in Sex, Violence, Hate, Lies, Deceit, Covetousness, Murder, Greed, Gluttony, Religion, Creed, Race, Food, Clothes, Money, Drugs, and then made a home for the devil... HELL!

The game between Good & Evil has to stop. A game where every choice you make is not really your choice. A game where you are nothing but pawn in the chess board of life. A game that your every move is determined by a superior force you either fight or bow to.

If anyone is bold enough to counsel me, he/she should bring me a CV. I want to see how many wars you've stopped, how many mouth you've fed, how many catastrophe you have prevented from happening, how many shelter you've provided, how many deaths you've prevented, how many thirst you've quench, and how different are you from me. Bring before me the head of Lucifer or the Devil. And I shall listen with no argument and with all intention to comply.

Else, shut the fuck up! 'Cos you are no different from me regardless of what you do or believe in!

It's All Me

Permit me to run my mouth and rub my shinning ego a bit.

I am a Leo, a flawless one come to mention. I love the beautiful things of life. I flirt at the slightest opportunity without the intention of getting myself or the other party hurt in the process. I have crush on like 4 female ( 2 older than me and 2 younger). I make mistakes that I learn from. I have made people smile, I have made people cry. I have made people rich, I've never made any poor. I have the fastest mood swing in the west, blink and I'll drop it like its hot. I love pranks, and I've asked questions the pope will rather die than ask them. I have imagination the size of two universe. I go to club to look at happy people. I go to church (haven't since my last lifetime) to see people with mixed feelings. I read to know more. I laugh at the slightest joke (even when it doesn't seem funny).

I'm so stubborn that you'll have a chance at breaking into Fort Knox before you break into my decision. I'm horny like 3/4 of the day. I love water and I can't explain the meaning thereof. I dream of the weirdest things known to man. I fly in my dream, I walk on water in my dream, I run away from monsters in my dream, I fight wars in my dream, I've seen a bleeding moon in my dream, I've seen a changing earth in my dream, I've seen a revolution in my dream, I have had a glimpse of a golden city-in-the-mountains in my dream, I've had sex with tens of faceless girls in my dream, I've been killed in my dream (but I no die sha), I've been shot in my dream, I've been betrayed by family in my dream, I've been betrayed by friends in my dream, I have seen things to come in my dream.

I've lied to people (friends & family alike), I have stolen (from parent), I've nicked (N50) from a friend (I beg am, he no give me, na im I steal am... stingy bastard.. no regrets!), I've made people fall in love with me, I have had strong feelings for a few girls before, I've been seduced by a gay fucker before, I have been toasted by men before (do I look girlie? shuoo), I've been seduced and violated by an extended family member when I was under 7 or so, I've been made to try and have sex with a 5yr old girl when I was under 7 (e no enter sha... {hiss}), I've been asked out by female friends (no big deal), and I've made plots just to be loved (just don't work! na wo oh), I've made silly decisions before and I have made great ones, I've had selfish but not greedy motives.

I love casual fashion, I love attention, I love parties, I love being treated as a royal, I am almost always right, I have fears like I have demons and I have strength like I have arch-angels (all made up in my own world), I hate claims of the unexplainable (God, Jesus, Lucifer, Trinity, Buddha, Muhammad, Adam, Eve, Heaven, Hell, Fate, Destiny, Holy-this, and Holy-that), I've shed tears (small drop-drop) like only 4times in the last 10yrs (once while watching Hotel Rwanda, once while watching Armageddon, Once when T left me, once when I evaluated my life).

Now that's my life in summary. If I don't appear to you as a saint, or your ideal soul, or your Bible/Koran/ cut-out character, I have one thing to tell you:
The rainbow isn't painted in one color!

And if you think I won't go to heaven (because I no plan to repent and seek your ass), then do yourself a favour, start praying that the time you'll get to that your heaven, I'll be off-post and am not on duty, else, I'll so send your ass to hell.

This piece is dedicated to all those who are alive and believe in themselves, the the welfare of their neighbor, and peace amongst all men - regardless of their race or creed. Those who accept responsibility for every action spun by them. Those who keep open heart and learn the mystery of the unexplainable. Those who cater to immediate positive need for humanity...

May the force be with you!

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

My Sex

Got tagged by overwhelmed... I know a whole lot of people won't want to do this... strictly for the bold and the powerful...

1.) How old were you the first time? 18

2.) Name of your first? Ra. (4yrs older than me)

3.) Good or Bad? A new experience!!!

4.) Name of the worst and why? De. Worst quickie ever! On my couch... :-(

5.) Name of the best and why? Ru. she's nasty and adventurous (extremely)... and an Aquarian.

6.) Weirdest place you ever had sex? Top floor of my A-level school building... standing... lmao

7.) Favorite Position: When ridden like a pony... with waist doing the twist...

8.) Ever fake an orgasm? Nah… boyz can't fake, cos we always get there! LOL

9.) Would you admit it if the person asked? See Question 8

10.) Favorite time of day to have sex? first thing before getting my bum off the bed in the morning... with no words spoken...

11.) Most times you have had sex in one day? 11... at Obudu Cattle ranch. Thrice before 7am. Once in the bathroom (about 8am)... Twice after breakfast (9:30am)... once before lunch... once after... thrice between 6:30pm - 9:30pm... I think she fell in love with me after then (sad am hard to tame)...

12.) Same person? (is there an alternative?) What do you think?!

13.) Ever fantasize about someone other than the one you’re with? I have committed this sin before... especially when the girl is sloppy... but never when having great sex.

14.) Restrictions during sex? am I in a prison?

15.) Accessories? Ice cream, Wine

16.) What? More Ice Cream... esp for that spot... girls you know what am talking about... yummy! LOL

17.) Done it in the rain? I wish...

18.) Done it in a car? like twice...

19.) Had a Threesome? Nope! I'm too selfish to share when it comes to sex...

20.) Want to have sex now? use your imagination...

We Exist

I have a heart that was racing towards perfection, now am out of wind. I just want to exist. Bound by no law except the ones I can't figure out or take control of. I feel deep in my heart the substance that bind two people together in harmony, but they seem to be drowning, and can't come to the surface. I experience emotional attachment to people only for a moment and then all of a sudden it disappears. I long to experience what it feels like to be in love or in twine, but each time I try, I feel like Trinity who saw the earth's beauty for the first time, when she flew above the scorched sky and then falls back under... Love portion don't work cos after taking some, I disliked the person 77 folds more than I would have...

My heart smiles when I see people in love and I ask if I'll ever feel it... I look at little babies and see their innocence but I lack the emotion that should make we wrap my hands around them for a long time... I don't attend wedding because it reminds me of emotions that I perhaps won't get to understand or feel... I hate burials because it reminds me that I won't exist long enough to dig deep to find out if I truly can feel what needs to be felt... The harder I try, the more it hurts...

We exist; those who wants to be but can't be
We exist; those who suffer in silence the pain thereof
We exist; those who go into and capture the essence thereof
We exist; those who make out time to completely ignore the feelings thereof
We exist; those who are forced to feel that feeling
We exist; those who are abused for not taking part
We exist; those who innocently let it go
We exist; those who just say FUCK IT!

Tuesday, January 09, 2007


Not the heavens silly! UP! Still don't get it, do ya? Well... I and two of my friends where discussing some business oriented issues when one of them said this: "I don't believe in luck! It simple bullsh*t!!" Then he went ahead to quote the famous line: "Luck is simply opportunity meeting preparation." (Or is it the other way round? Whatever! Where was I?

Then I thought to myself; Whoever designed existence ain't foolish but seriously wise. I remember reading the bible (Am not trying to be religious here cos I read a whole lot of stuff) and I came across a story? about how the leader of the Israelite held up a serpent and told them to look up to the serpent lest they get bitten by the other little freaks on the ground. Well, all I deduced was the unlucky chumps that didn't get the drift got bitten.

I figure that somehow in our life, the solution we need are all around us, just right above our logical/rational/whatever head. All we need to do is tilt that brain box a bit and viola! Solution!

Now I don't mean raising your head physically or wailing like new born babe in the name of prayers, but I mean take time out and see beyond our head, see the blueprint, and then be prepared to follow the steps. Many have been deceived in moment of need and then fall deeper into the abyss of wahala, but what can I say, some of us cannot, perhaps, understand the language/signs even if it is staring right in our faces. While some are just too lazy to be bothered. And some lost touch completely of need to LOOK UP because they have been struck, once or twice (even more) by crawling-heaven-forsaken serpents that lay around patiently waiting to "strike thy heel".

Anyways, I'd like to say this: "Always carry around your basket, cos you never know when your eyes will be open enough to see manna falling from above." And remember... The Gospel is always according to you!

Thursday, January 04, 2007

Falling or Making?

Happy 2007. 2006 was a wonderful year for me, filled with drama, suspense, anger (no violence), comedy, and some classical merry-go-round with a twist of fairy tale (yes I still do believe in them, and I have seen them happen).

I evaluated my life (in 60secs) and I came to the conclusion that I'll make things instead of fall for them. That way, I'll be able to control them and also my sense of emotion and reasoning.

I am not a big fan of resolution and sh*t like that but I listen to the silent voice of my experience (past) and try to mold my present in the likeness of my future using the simple theory of evolution (Modification through experiences).

I have come to the enlightenment; not to fall in love but to make love. Falling in love is a weakness that I have and I have decided to control it by making love instead of falling.

Make wealth but not fall for wealth

Make Peace but not fall in peace

Make my own path, and not fall for a path

Make friends, and not fall for friends

Make enemies, and not fall for enemies

Make control, and not fall in control

Make well, and not fall in well.

For now I understand that, it is what you make that stands for you and not what you fall for or fall into. But remember, don't fall for that which you make!

Have a blissful 2007!