Wednesday, January 10, 2007

We Exist

I have a heart that was racing towards perfection, now am out of wind. I just want to exist. Bound by no law except the ones I can't figure out or take control of. I feel deep in my heart the substance that bind two people together in harmony, but they seem to be drowning, and can't come to the surface. I experience emotional attachment to people only for a moment and then all of a sudden it disappears. I long to experience what it feels like to be in love or in twine, but each time I try, I feel like Trinity who saw the earth's beauty for the first time, when she flew above the scorched sky and then falls back under... Love portion don't work cos after taking some, I disliked the person 77 folds more than I would have...

My heart smiles when I see people in love and I ask if I'll ever feel it... I look at little babies and see their innocence but I lack the emotion that should make we wrap my hands around them for a long time... I don't attend wedding because it reminds me of emotions that I perhaps won't get to understand or feel... I hate burials because it reminds me that I won't exist long enough to dig deep to find out if I truly can feel what needs to be felt... The harder I try, the more it hurts...

We exist; those who wants to be but can't be
We exist; those who suffer in silence the pain thereof
We exist; those who go into and capture the essence thereof
We exist; those who make out time to completely ignore the feelings thereof
We exist; those who are forced to feel that feeling
We exist; those who are abused for not taking part
We exist; those who innocently let it go
We exist; those who just say FUCK IT!

4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

ok sweetie... You need life to fuck you in the ass, you need to feel these emotions... Live more, laugh and cry more, hell go for weddings and burials. When I lost my dad, I lost my fear of dying..
you need to hold more babies and enjoy their innocent smile ...common now... Life is bitter sweet, enjoy every living second of it!!

You should come to canada, we would go driving. I loving driving to no where..I drove from halifax to san diego CA, a 25hr drive I made no stops only a few exits when I got lost and it was great.... I saw my life flash in front of me and manytimes I wanted to give up but at the KN border, I decided to take life by its fucking horns and do with it as I please.!!

January 10, 2007 8:56 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This was a gorgeous piece... but I agree with Zee... you do need life to fuck you in the ass... cos you're never really living when you're not going through all those emotions... when you don't experience these things that make you human...

January 10, 2007 12:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

@zee: thanks... i'm learning... sorry about ur pops... and you drove that long? my kinda girl (:-)) men, canada here I come! LOL... inspite of my bold outward appearance, am quite fragile... well, am letting go... one breathe at a time

@ONB: thanx a bunch! poetically speaking, am dancing naked under the sun... am letting go... one breathe at a time...

January 11, 2007 12:31 AM  
Blogger UnNaked Soul said...

anonymous is a thief! or blogger is pyscho... when did unNaked Soul become anonymous? make una no vex joo... what rubbish!

January 11, 2007 1:18 AM  

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