Random Blabing
The situation in Naija is killing me oh. Over the last three months, there has been approximately 200hrs of electricity. Keeping all of us in darkness. Even deve (devil) no like darkness; why you thinks say fire dey for hell? When Baba Godeh (God) throw deve enter hell, the place dark. My guy shout "shoou! this place dark oh! abeg, make una gather stick make we start fire. I wan see where I dey go." No be small matter. Even Papa Godeh sef no like darkness. Remember say the first thing wey he shout make dem do when he enter earth see say the place dark, na "make una on that light!" This na true gist, ask dem.
What is the matter with this babe? I was browsing the internet jejely oh. I came across Hi5. I like. I register. I enter profile info. I upload picture. I flirt around a bit. I chill out. Well, one day, I saw a phone number from a girl who thinks am cute (how?). Well as truely unNaked, I picked up my phone, pin pin pin pin pin... I dialed. From there I no rest again. She thinks my voice is sweet (hen?), she thinks am cute (God bless photoshop!). I've never meet this babe, but she loves me pass her mama. She'll text, call, flash, gprs, gps, satellite, sun me. My head come dey swell like hausa pof-pof. She say make we see, I say ok. On the tragic day of our meeting, her father died! Ewo! which kain gist be this. Can't he choose a better day to die? I could be a demon oh, but there's a light hidden inside me somehow. The light said, call her repeatedly and console her. I listened. I do. I called. Plenty times. I worry too. After like three calls, she no gree pick phone again. I come fashi, at least no be me die. She come begin text me, that I should call her, stating that she's using a business centre phone to send the text. So I called her phone. We talked, but every time I asked about the situation in her house, she cuts the phone. I'll redial, and she'll apologize and blame the network (very convenient thing to do). After a while she switched off her phone. I smelt a cockroach (I can smell that shit from afar, very irritating smell. I hate cockroaches... sorry insect right activists). Then my IU (Intelligence Unit) sent intel stating that the business centre phone should be dialed. Buzibodi, I called.
A man picked up with phone and said "Hello".
I said "Good evening sir, someone called my on this number, and am trying to figure out who the person is."
He said "Sorry, this phone belongs to Mr. O#%@?"
I said "Oh Ok. Thank you sir. Sorry for bothering you."
He said "No problem. Good night."
click!
I come dey wonder, instead of to go sleep jeje, this guy bears the same lastname as this babe. Since the father is dead, maybe the son has resumed immediate role of his father, and decided to receive all calls as him. Well, tough shit, but heck, it ain't mine. So I decided to call again, and ask for W*&%^#.
ring ring ring
He said "hello"
I said "Sorry to bother you sir, but I'll like to know if you know of any W*&%^# O#%@?
He said "Am her Father"
Very puzzled I said "Oh sorry sir, My name is unNaked, I bet she tried reaching me through your phone. Really sorry to bother you. Am just trying to confirm. Good night sir.
He said" Good night"
The b%$@h lied! Her father is ALIVE. I hold my toto put hand for head. WOMEN! The cunt killed her father even before he died. holy pussy juice!
I stopped calling, and she perhaps got the message. She kept smsing, flashing, ecetera-ing, but I no respond.Then after like 5months, I decided to pick her call. The thing done too much, and as per spirit of Christmas. She apologized (na today? I've got a Nobel prize for apologizing). I said ok (e no hard now, abi? My teeth go still remain 27). I never returned any of her call, and she kept making pussy promises (only if she knows how gay I am towards those promises).
So last week Friday, she sent a text saying she wants to see me. That she loves me, miss me,kiss me, and-all-the-other-things me. I said Omo na wa oh. After all these months (9), and you no know if I be Lucifer sef, you dey love. ok.
I come dey wonder. Make I change my phone? I said NO! plenty people get this number, and I can't go through the process of broadcasting my new number just because I dey run from one babe. She no worth am. I shenk'd. But the babe case dey fear me oh. The story long pass this one, but my hand dey pain me, and am missing something in my life... Wetin man go do now?
What is the matter with this babe? I was browsing the internet jejely oh. I came across Hi5. I like. I register. I enter profile info. I upload picture. I flirt around a bit. I chill out. Well, one day, I saw a phone number from a girl who thinks am cute (how?). Well as truely unNaked, I picked up my phone, pin pin pin pin pin... I dialed. From there I no rest again. She thinks my voice is sweet (hen?), she thinks am cute (God bless photoshop!). I've never meet this babe, but she loves me pass her mama. She'll text, call, flash, gprs, gps, satellite, sun me. My head come dey swell like hausa pof-pof. She say make we see, I say ok. On the tragic day of our meeting, her father died! Ewo! which kain gist be this. Can't he choose a better day to die? I could be a demon oh, but there's a light hidden inside me somehow. The light said, call her repeatedly and console her. I listened. I do. I called. Plenty times. I worry too. After like three calls, she no gree pick phone again. I come fashi, at least no be me die. She come begin text me, that I should call her, stating that she's using a business centre phone to send the text. So I called her phone. We talked, but every time I asked about the situation in her house, she cuts the phone. I'll redial, and she'll apologize and blame the network (very convenient thing to do). After a while she switched off her phone. I smelt a cockroach (I can smell that shit from afar, very irritating smell. I hate cockroaches... sorry insect right activists). Then my IU (Intelligence Unit) sent intel stating that the business centre phone should be dialed. Buzibodi, I called.
A man picked up with phone and said "Hello".
I said "Good evening sir, someone called my on this number, and am trying to figure out who the person is."
He said "Sorry, this phone belongs to Mr. O#%@?"
I said "Oh Ok. Thank you sir. Sorry for bothering you."
He said "No problem. Good night."
click!
I come dey wonder, instead of to go sleep jeje, this guy bears the same lastname as this babe. Since the father is dead, maybe the son has resumed immediate role of his father, and decided to receive all calls as him. Well, tough shit, but heck, it ain't mine. So I decided to call again, and ask for W*&%^#.
ring ring ring
He said "hello"
I said "Sorry to bother you sir, but I'll like to know if you know of any W*&%^# O#%@?
He said "Am her Father"
Very puzzled I said "Oh sorry sir, My name is unNaked, I bet she tried reaching me through your phone. Really sorry to bother you. Am just trying to confirm. Good night sir.
He said" Good night"
The b%$@h lied! Her father is ALIVE. I hold my toto put hand for head. WOMEN! The cunt killed her father even before he died. holy pussy juice!
I stopped calling, and she perhaps got the message. She kept smsing, flashing, ecetera-ing, but I no respond.Then after like 5months, I decided to pick her call. The thing done too much, and as per spirit of Christmas. She apologized (na today? I've got a Nobel prize for apologizing). I said ok (e no hard now, abi? My teeth go still remain 27). I never returned any of her call, and she kept making pussy promises (only if she knows how gay I am towards those promises).
So last week Friday, she sent a text saying she wants to see me. That she loves me, miss me,kiss me, and-all-the-other-things me. I said Omo na wa oh. After all these months (9), and you no know if I be Lucifer sef, you dey love. ok.
I come dey wonder. Make I change my phone? I said NO! plenty people get this number, and I can't go through the process of broadcasting my new number just because I dey run from one babe. She no worth am. I shenk'd. But the babe case dey fear me oh. The story long pass this one, but my hand dey pain me, and am missing something in my life... Wetin man go do now?
Labels: love biko, Random blabbling, see me see wahala
posted by UnNaked Soul at 8:28 AM
17 comments
