Wednesday, April 04, 2007

WITHDRAWING CASH THROUGH ATM

I got this piece when I checked my email a few minutes ago, fwdd from a sweet friend, Lisa... This shit is funny...

A sign in the Bank Lobby reads:
Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through teller machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.

After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.

MALE PROCEDURE

* Drive up to the cash machine.
* Put down your car window.
* Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
* Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
* Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
* Put window up.
* Drive off.


FEMALE PROCEDURE

* Drive up to cash machine.
* Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
* Set parking brake, put the window down.
* Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
* Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up
* Attempt to insert card into machine.
* Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
* Insert card.
* Re-insert card the right way.
* Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
* Enter PIN.
* Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN. l
* Enter amount of cash required.
* Check makeup in rear view mirror.
* Retrieve cash and receipt.
* Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
* Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of cheque book.
* Re-check makeup.
* Drive forward 2 feet.
* Reverse back to cash machine.
* Retrieve card.
* Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
* Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
* Restart stalled engine and pull off.
* Redial person on cell phone.
* Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
* Release Parking Brake.

Labels:

14 Comments:

Blogger dolly said...

FIRST!!!

April 04, 2007 6:54 AM  
Blogger dolly said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

April 04, 2007 6:55 AM  
Blogger dolly said...

why must we always empty our bags....the procedure is longer

April 04, 2007 6:57 AM  
Blogger adumaadan - Blacktinkerbell said...

that isn't funny. we women can't help being complicated. You try carrying a handbag filled with all kinds of junk and see how well you'll do...and what's the deal with the make-up check? you seriously trying to tell me you do not look in a mirror or any reflective surface during the day? ha! I really think all this woman bashing has got to stop. we don't have it easy you know. (that being said, when are you going to fill in your application?) I already bribed you)

April 04, 2007 8:45 AM  
Blogger omohemi Benson said...

Lol.

April 04, 2007 11:35 AM  
Blogger JJ said...

LMAO!!! Partly true...i still had to rummage through my purse about an hr ago when i needed to deposit cash. Funny.

April 04, 2007 1:48 PM  
Blogger ijeoma obu iheoma said...

ehhh.. i am not so sure i agree with the steps.. but nice post.

April 04, 2007 3:27 PM  
Blogger Ugo Daniels said...

Truth hurts, like they say!

Yeah, its funny but true!

April 05, 2007 11:19 AM  
Blogger mimi said...

u r absolutrly crayzay, what d'you mean uhn, us ladies are what?

April 05, 2007 1:54 PM  
Anonymous Jolade said...

'Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you' - this is my favourite procedure.(lol)
Female bashing? Of course not...I'm a lady, I'm not taking it literally...its just plain fun

April 05, 2007 2:23 PM  
Blogger Vera Ezimora said...

LOL.

That's hella funny. I alwayz drive with the parking brake on too...which is why I don't use it anymore, LOL.

And that make-up thing....guilty!!!

I've updated...and I even put a picture of me up.

April 05, 2007 5:03 PM  
Blogger Im A Babe said...

lol...ur wrong 4 this post. im a lady and alll but i would want 2 bitch slap whoeva takes that much tym 2 withdraw money from an atm machine

April 06, 2007 9:55 AM  
Blogger Spook E said...

that had me cracking up so hard my sides hurt. thanks for the laugh

April 08, 2007 5:22 PM  
Blogger catwalq said...

AAAAAAAHHH-AAAAAAHHHHH
THIS IS SO UNFAIR.
WELL, U GUYS ALWAYS NEED DIRECTIONS TO GET TO THE ATM AND U NEVER ASK OR SAY U DON'T KNOW SO U GET LOST

April 22, 2007 9:06 PM  

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