Monday, November 26, 2007

A woman's prayer

Human: Made by God, Stored by Man, Powered by Woman. -unNaked Soul

Dear God, I stand humbly on my kneels to ask a few things from you. First let me say thank you to the years that I have lived within your grace, and the ones to come. I thank you for the bosom gift after a few years of my time on this planet, the garden that started growing under, plus the extra padding; they sure drive those boys mad.

I want to complain a little bit about the red sea, is there another way? I know I'm not suppose to question your design, but am just curious. Because sometimes I get really cranky and it affects me negatively, but I cope. Then most times I get crazily horny, but I can't do. I just want you to know sha.

There are some things that are bothering which I bet you know already, but I'll just say it make e for no lost - sorry about my bad english Father. Anyhow sha, these are my request:

I want a man of my own who supports me emotionally, physically, and spiritually. A man who is a randy goat but responds only to my estrogen scent. A man who is ready to take me to lala land without his car breaking down just moments after ignition. A man who has multi-function tongue - that is a smooth talker, and a... Father, you know what I mean.

Another request is, is it possible for you to redesign the reproduction process? This is my thought: When a man strafs a woman or vice versa, is it possible for us to get pregnant, and the man to start growing boobs like us? You see, our own boobs is going to be strictly for beautifying our form, while the male boobs will be strictly for feeding the baby. As soon as I get pregnant, the man responsible will start growing boobs, that way I can grow old in peace without worrying about how silly my boobs look after child birth.

You see, it is not entirely selfish. Let me explain: Before a man sleeps with a woman, he will have to think twice because, if he gets a woman pregnant, he will grow boobs. That way he cannot deny the damn pregnancy. And that way we both share responsibilities. I think the number of sexual abuse on women will reduce to a contained amount. What do you think Father? If you agree, I'll let you in on the whole scope.

My last request is, can you install the following software in male man:

how-women-feel 5.0
how-women-think 6.9
menstrual-pain 1.0 (with monthly upgrade)

Maybe the world will be a better place, because in my opinion, I think the male man is obsolete, and if care isn't taken, they will go into extinction, and there'll be no one to fuck us. As much as I wish for you to strike that gay bitch shouting yay, but I'll pass, cos we need to multiply.

Father, in my limited knowledge of how things work, I ask thee for consideration of my request. AMEN.



Blogger fantasy queen said...

i'm to this part and had to drop a word...
"Then most times I get crazily horny, but I can't do" why does she think she cant do?
going back to read

November 26, 2007 12:35 PM  
Blogger fantasy queen said...

now are u the man she prays for?
can u stand the menstrual-pain 1.0 (with monthly upgrade) i bet the guys would get a resit every semester.
u crack me up man...!!! and i need me some lollipops for being first :)

November 26, 2007 12:40 PM  
Blogger Afrobabe said...

final stage after this....

November 26, 2007 1:41 PM  
Blogger bumight said...

you are SO not serious! is this what u use ur time for ehn?
you have totally lost it!, don't know whether we can find it now after this!

November 26, 2007 2:19 PM  
Blogger CATWALQ a.k.a LAGBA-JESS said...

If I did not so love you and your blog, I would be beating you everyday because you are too silly

But I will say "Amen" "Amin Arabi"

November 26, 2007 11:34 PM  
Blogger Jaybabe said...

Ehen unNaked, ask God to also make men feel how we feel when we fall pregnant, the morning sicknesses,nausea,to also brighten their complexion so that it becomes known that they have impregnanted someone. Mostly when i fall pregnant, he'll leave me and go shag some small small pikins outside. Ask God that it shud also show on him that he's planted a seed somewhere. Abeg, its just not fair oo! And i know God is listening and He's gonna grant you your wishes.

Very nice post.

November 27, 2007 11:34 PM  
Blogger Fatima said...

nice post...good to knw u knw,nd u saying it wit no dey call me pet names oo,me nd u go fight oo!!!

November 28, 2007 3:46 AM  
Blogger Fo said...

u knw i just left a comment witout finish reading the post...God damn u funny LMAO here!! sea thing really shld be taken into consideration,nd i knw all ma girls are in wit me on that one...u self!!! LOL!!

November 28, 2007 3:53 AM  
Blogger Sherri said...

nice prayer.
not sure about the men growing boobs part tho,
several reasons:
ewww! not a pleasing sight and
i dont want to be wrestling a man for a bra (imagine vs having a sale)
i know for sure the boobs will be used for pleasure more than anything else and the poor babies will def starve!
i could go on, but i wont.

on a funny note,
my one friend wishes they were detachable tho, so she can take them off and throw em at men when they have conversations with her boobs. lol

November 28, 2007 2:12 PM  
Blogger Teediva said...

ROFLMAO! damn this almost had me off my chair with laughter. ahn ahn, na wa for u...

December 03, 2007 7:23 AM  
Blogger Onome said...

mgbo!!! u wer did u get dis from?? i dont know of oda women but dat certainly aint my prayes especially d boobs growing part...although i wont mind d multi-functional tongue and installation of software how-women-think and feel. lol

December 04, 2007 5:51 AM  
Blogger mona said...

i love the men growing boobs part.fantastic.lovely lovely post!

i love this blog loads already

December 11, 2007 2:09 AM  

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