Friday, November 02, 2007

unFuckgivable?

Contributing to global orgasm and advocating for sustainment of all elements that contributes to a heart warming effect for all relationship is one of my million goals. The green envy emission you inhale is just a byproduct of a cause gone wrong. - unNaked Soul

I have resolved over the last decade to stay away from any of my friend's intending/girlfriend/wife. From my experience, it is a very reasonable resolution which might save my unNaked yansh from yawa. I have encountered over a dozen and half cases, and few led to a shag.

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Case 1:
H & P are both friends of mine. And as a matter of fact, I knew H before I knew P. P told me of his intention to date H which I clearly have no issue with. I & H have this unSpoken bond between us, but heck, no one is talking. Once in a while she'll tell me P doesn't play his role as she wants; you know, the cuddling, smooching, etc. I said, well, maybe he's not the cuddling smooching kind of guy, or he's just hasn't come to that yet.

One fateful day, P & H came visiting. While P was in the living room watching The Matrix, I was busy performing CPR on H. And she was loving it. Mid way through the movie, P was stunned by one of the mad Matrix Effect and wants to share it with me, so he burst into my room to find I & H locked in a serious kissing session. That moment changed his life.


Case 2:
O is a close friend of mine whom I met through another close friend of mine. O started dating M at some point. He was new to this love game, so he comes to me for advice. I threw him a few tricks here and there, he's happy, and am pleased. On some occasion, M would tell me how he wants O to do more as a guy, and I would tell her to chill, that he'll come to that soon.

One fateful day, M came visiting O. O was cooking so I was left to keep M company. And as usual, NEPA carry their load, so it was dark. Before I could say "horny honey", we were locked in a passionate kiss while O was some where in the room, but he could see us. M started stroking my now hard fuck stick, and boy was I responding... I couldn't hold it anymore, so I got up and told O "dude, you babe is horny, go and fuck her right now!" he asked me the dumbest question ever "how you take know?" and I said "you are wasting precious fucking time by interrogating me, just go in there and fuck her senseless!"

2hours later, he called me a genius, and thanked me like I gave him another life. Shiiiit! Only if he knew.


Case 3:
N & D are two very only-God-knows-what kind of lovers. I've helped solve a lot of dispute between them and it hurts to see them tear themselves apart in the times that they do. Two very cute couple, what else do they want? Anyways, one sweet day while I was jonesing off in lala land, I felt a wet tongue split my mouth in two. At first I thought one of my friends has gone gay on me, so I woke up with a shock, almost yelling WTF! Lo and Behold, N was staring straight at my face and laughing at my obvious shock. and she asked if I liked it, and I responded with a hell yea! And every now and then, we'd steal time for a nice kissing session.
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I have cautioned myself to keep away from friend's intending/girlfriend/wife. I rather them think am snobbish or eccentric rather than committing. I don't go more than the usual Hi & Hello. And when the conversation is about to get a little bit longer than that, I excuse myself with a huge smile on my face.

And there is a temptation am about to face again. A friend's fiancee. And am going to stay away as long as I can, cause this is going to be so unFuckgivable!

Is anything wrong with me?

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23 Comments:

Blogger fantasy queen said...

i'm first? nice...
u're hilarous man...'unfuckgivable'?..LMAO. the koko must be really hot to get all those chicks melting on u...or did u use jazz for someone thats somehow catching all the others around...lol'
goodluck in ur resolve...but be warned, chics get attracted to guys who dont 'send' them at all, they see it as mystery to unravel..u're doomed man!

November 02, 2007 7:18 AM  
Blogger UnNaked Soul said...

@fantasy queen: no jazz o. just nature.

I see... I have to start sending then. no o... that means wahala too... OMG!

November 02, 2007 7:23 AM  
Anonymous Lovita said...

Does this make our "Unnaked Soul" a kissinger?

Case 2 was kind of hard to believe
and it was funny at the same time
From what I've read, you're good at what you do and I suggest u stay away just like you've said u know..

"Is anything wrong with me?"

Yeah you're too horny

November 02, 2007 10:12 AM  
Blogger CATWALQ a.k.a LAGBA-JESS said...

U need a girlfriend Dear...

November 02, 2007 10:19 AM  
Anonymous Mrs Unnakes soul said...

baby are you trying to tell me something?????

who did you do again??

November 02, 2007 11:58 AM  
Anonymous Your friend said...

yes you do need a girlfriend

November 02, 2007 11:59 AM  
Blogger Kpakpando said...

asewo, you berra keep your koko to yourself, you never know if this dude will just flip and kill you o. Trouble dey sleep, yanga go wake am

November 02, 2007 4:22 PM  
Blogger Nneka's World said...

You......

You wont kill me with laughter lol.....

But na wa oh, what kind of jazz are you using?

November 03, 2007 8:00 AM  
Blogger Isi said...

yes! plenti is wrong with u! it has to be some kind of disease: itchesforothermenswhore... or something like that. go see your doctor, quick!

November 03, 2007 8:31 AM  
Blogger UnNaked Soul said...

if anyone has a remedy, please supply. I'll really appreciate it. Am slowing becoming a recluse as I see it as the closest solution. :-(

November 03, 2007 9:04 AM  
Blogger fantasy queen said...

ur remedy...ME!

November 03, 2007 2:26 PM  
Blogger guerreiranigeriana said...

wow!!!...wasn't expecting that!!...what's up with the chicks your friends date?...damn!...i can't imagine going to visit my guy and his friend and hooking up with his friend while he was off doing whatever...that's crazy...i mean...can you help it if you are sooo incredibly hot and delish and the girls want to taste?...haha...;)...good luck o!!!...

November 03, 2007 3:28 PM  
Blogger Arewa said...

Damn Boy.. u need to take it easy oh...i see the girls have a thing for u but u need to try not to get involved @ all no giving advice and all that...that way u keep ur distance...if this goes on, u might end up losing a very close friend because of all this.

lol@ kpakpando.

But seriously i agree with the other bloggers U NEED TO FIND URSELF A WOMAN!!

November 04, 2007 5:02 AM  
Blogger badderchic said...

Hmmn, Unnaked, cant somebody ask you to look after the stew in the pot without you tiffing all the bokoto, shaki and ese eran?

November 04, 2007 12:09 PM  
Blogger Teediva said...

totally lmao! u turned her on on his behalf? shit, what is this word turning into? na wa for u man. she stroked ur 'fuck stick'? man u got some lyrics! lmao.

November 05, 2007 2:08 AM  
Blogger gishungwa said...

You are funny LOL. Is anything wrong with you, maybe you need a gal of your own. Remedy, call me when u want to fight temptation.

November 05, 2007 4:49 AM  
Blogger Aijay said...

LOL!!! Yes, there's something wrong with u.

November 05, 2007 9:24 AM  
Blogger Waffarian said...

abeg, make I laugh for here. If na woman write this post, na another thing we go dey yarn by now! dem for don curse am, abuse am well well. Where all those preachers them? abeg, I take God beg una, make una come do serious prayer scripture for this side!

Hissssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss!

@Unnaked Soul: The day wey dem go catch you!!!!you go hear weeeeeeeeeen!

November 05, 2007 9:45 AM  
Blogger bumight said...

lol, if you told us three cases, how many other cases did u 'omit'? neways, u have prescribed ur medicine urself, or better still, take the one catwalq prescribed.

November 05, 2007 11:06 AM  
Blogger UnNaked Soul said...

Catwalq prescribed something and she no show me where to find one... LoL

Am in need a sweet temptation with no negative repercussion.

Temptation anyone?

November 05, 2007 11:48 PM  
Blogger bumight said...

my dear, it won't be temptation if it didn't have any negative repercussions

November 06, 2007 6:51 AM  
Blogger Onome said...

na wa o.............

November 13, 2007 2:38 AM  
Blogger sweetpea said...

In relation to your post, have you ever seen the movie "Loving Jezebel" with Hill Harper?

Seriously, go rent it!! It's good.

January 21, 2008 9:14 AM  

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