Friday, September 07, 2007

Tales from the past

Long time ago, there lived a boy who almost got his ass kicked.

I remember while I was at Keffi studying for my IJMB examination. (I think I finally lost it there :-?). Anyways, I was this young flirt always getting away with free kisses from the girls who thought I was cute. Well, I met this babe, cute, petite and all. We became friends (without benefits of course) and we were just cool. Somewhere up the line of joblessness, she started dating this guy, LA, whom every sane lazy fucker keep at least one mile distance from.

One sweet sexy evening, I met the babe in front of her hostel having a mild conversation with one of the "bodyguards" of LA. I carry my lepa self with all smiles and joined the conversation. And me being the harmless flirt, starting chatting away like a machine gun in the hands of a psych reject. The babe was feeling my steeds, and me, I didn't know I was sowing seeds of trouble. Apparently, the goon felt I was trying to shine his boss's congo.

After about 30mins, I saw beautiful Amina walking by looking so stressed up. I excused myself and went to talk with her. Amina wasn't feeling to good, malaria or something, and she needed drugs. I volunteered to get the drugs for her.

Fast forward to 20mins later. Me, I was far away in town at some chemist purchasing drug for beautiful Amina, when my lazy friends where getting kicked and shaken up like bag of potatoes over their inability to provide me. What happened? Well, goon went to report to eccentric LA that I was making passes at his girl. ha-ha. LA did not find that funny. He search all the corners of the school looking to give me a good ass whopping.

When I returned back to school, gave beautiful Amina her drugs, got a kiss, I went to my friends dorm. And the next thing they said in a God Panic was, "Omo, you better hide as far as you can, cos LA has been here with like 8 other of his boys looking for you. He said you were toasting his wife." I said "hen? why? I no toast him babe now." They said "Tell that to his angry looking crew and the bottle of Channel O he was holding. Your asewo-ness has gotten you into trouble."

I was petrified the least to say. Because, my friends all look scared when I entered the room, I bet they thought it was LA. Some of them have chopped some nice slaps. LOL.

The next day, I saw one of his paddies, Pupa, and told him what happened the night before, and he said I shouldn't worry, that he'll talk to LA. I left Pupa and was heading to the cafeteria, there he was, LA. His goon came to me and said "LA wants to see you." In head I was like "gen gen, e don be!"

LA saw me and started smiling, he said, "oh, so na you be the guy wey I for trash yesterday. Abeg no vex, make make i buy you beer?"

In my mind I was like "this dude was going to kick the flirt out of me yesterday, and now, he's offering me beer. pretty strange."

I said sure, why not. From then on, I & LA became so close that my friends where asking, wft did you say to him...

Moral of the story: Flirting can be a bitch sometimes. and always help beautiful Aminas when they are not feeling to well. *wink*

Labels: ,


Blogger catwalq said...

Oh my God, this is beyond hilarious...

so we have a score to settle. I am here, oiled and ready...

September 07, 2007 8:46 PM  
Blogger Olamild said...

i no go gree o
how i go chop slap on ur behalf?
ur friends try sha

September 08, 2007 11:09 AM  
Blogger Fatoumatta said...

bahhahteshhwhahahhah....ROFL LMAO!!!LOL....TG am alone,ppl wld think av lost it!!!so funny,infact lite up my day!!

September 08, 2007 12:39 PM  
Blogger Obinwanne said...

maybe ne jazz you use for am, na only you go fit tell us....funny

September 08, 2007 12:45 PM  
Blogger femme said...

did u drink the beer? abi liver no gree u?

September 09, 2007 10:21 PM  
Blogger UnNaked Soul said...

@catwalq: BRACE YOURSELF DARLING. cos its about to rain you-know-what... *wink*

@olamid: LOL. na dem no fit slap LA back now... eheheheh

@fatoumatta: hehehehehe :-P

@obinwanne: I no use jazz o. its the weirdness that around exist around me :-D

@femme: I drink now... liver no dey fail me for that kin thing.. lol

September 10, 2007 1:18 AM  
Anonymous weird caller said...

Is catwalq the 'Amina'?

September 10, 2007 2:39 PM  
Blogger UnNaked Soul said...

@weird caller: no she's not... LOL

@catwalq: or are you beautiful Amina? LOL

September 11, 2007 4:20 AM  
Blogger Atutupoyoyo said...

LOL. Na God save you from dat wozing. It pays to be a Good Aminaritan

September 11, 2007 6:25 AM  
Blogger UndaCovaSista said...

Lol. Sounds like a narrow escape to me. Also sounds like the dude was a bit schizophrenic, but that worked in your favour.

What's Channel O....?

September 11, 2007 9:30 AM  
Blogger Tyger said...

i have said it before... i'm a say it again... you be ashewo... bad someborry.... they suppose whop your arse... LA no do well... why na?

September 11, 2007 9:49 AM  
Blogger UnNaked Soul said...

@atuts: LOL @ Aminaritan... LOL

@yes o! Channel O is some kind of cheap whiskey... lol

@tyger: :-P

September 11, 2007 10:03 AM  
Blogger Ugo Daniels said...

Dude, berra play careful and safe. One!!

September 11, 2007 10:52 AM  
Blogger LurLar said...

Chei!!! God really save u.

September 11, 2007 5:28 PM  
Blogger Jaja said...

Kposking wey u for receive eh? U say u dey flirt..

Dont tell me ur friends didnt try to pay u back one way or the other...

September 12, 2007 12:03 AM  
Blogger 100%Lighty said...

wot a turn around. wotevea happened bwt the previous day and the present day sure saved ur butt from a wholesome ass-whooping.

hope this flirting of urs doesnt get u into any trouble sha, the ones u wouldnt be able to get out of.

e.g, u seeing a baby in a basket in front of ur house with a note in it saying 'unNaked, here is the fruit of our love' lol! that would be a lafffffffffff. dont mind mi ohh.

September 12, 2007 2:44 AM  
Blogger JJ said...

LOL!! But really what did your friend say to him???

September 12, 2007 8:30 AM  
Blogger catwalq said...

Catwalq International Academie III is here!!!!!

September 12, 2007 5:33 PM  
Blogger Queen of My Castle said...

Such a cute story. I swear flirting is going to be the death of you *Shaking head* Women just can't resist charming men. I like your style.

September 12, 2007 8:48 PM  
Blogger Teediva said...

hm, how come u didnt get brushed? tell us jo.

September 13, 2007 3:54 AM  
Blogger UnNaked Soul said...

let's just say I have a funny way of getting in and out of trouble... LOL

Guess my aura was just to powerful... heheheehehe

September 13, 2007 4:40 AM  
Blogger Porter deHarqourt said...

Hey unNaked, don't i know you? Guy, i dey watch you o! Me i go buy you beer but no be the liquid contents i go dash you for head!

September 13, 2007 9:41 AM  
Blogger catwalq said...

oya update now...
mmn, Unnaked, don't you want me to give you what you want?
Don't you?
Just how u like it?
if u update....

September 13, 2007 4:34 PM  
Blogger SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

lol, too silly

September 18, 2007 1:20 PM  
Blogger Sparkle said...

so, I've read this story like a million

September 18, 2007 2:33 PM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home