unDecided Decision

It eats me sometimes when I think of it. The more I think of it as a sin the more the wind tells me it is a blessing. That in time, I shall get over the F*E*A*R and see the P*E*R*L hidden inside.

My drive towards perfection has made me commit more sin than normal. And a few who has witness me say "You're who you are. Stop crucifying yourself."

I have come to embrace the duality of life. I can't be entirely good even as I strive to be. I have to commit in order to vomit some of the darkness locked within the light box that is my Soul.

My move to living involves: Give as much as you wish to receive. Judge not, so that you will not be judge. Fuck others when they want to fuck with your mind. Have sex as much as you can (its my 1st addiction). See the good in people. Listen more and talk less. Dance salsa on weekends. Travel once in 3 month (away from my immediate environment). Eat chocolate cake every weekend. Eat ice-cream 3 times a week. Go swimming twice in a month. Drink @ the bar every Thursday (or anytime i want in my house). Wank when horny and there's no one to straf. Become very influential. Visit the orphanage once a month. Live 90% of my life with a smile on my face and 10% with a frown.

Because in the end, I find peace in these things. I shall, regardless, remain unNaked F*O*R*E*V*E*R.

*wink*