Thursday, February 15, 2007

The Gba'in of unNaked Soul

I don't know if anyone has encountered this kind of situation before. As annoying as it seem, I try to understand the motive behind or the ka-ta-gi-rin (driving force) behind it. Now before you ask "what is he talking about?", here it is:

About 14months ago, I was doing my usual strolling around my estate (you know those times boredom creeps on you like a blow job at 2:51am, but not as sensual), minding my business, wondering why I wasn't made as a celestial being like the stars or moon instead of a freaking human needing to worry about even the slightest wink from a sexy sister. Anyways, this guy (about 14-17yrs... men, age is an asshole... forgive my ijesha) walked up to me and...

guy: Good evening bros

unNaked: Hey, how are you?

guy: Am, fine bros

unNaked: o-k-a-y. (wondering if I knew him somewhere, but the ice cream I was eating no gree me think properly)

guy: sorry oh bros, I need your help.

unNaked: *thinking* Oh no. help ke. ok, lets hearrit.

guy: Please, I just got admission into school, and I was asked to pay N5,000. My uncle told me to come and see him, but I didn't meet him at home, and registration is closing tomorrow. If there's anything you can help me with, I'll be grateful. I have only N1,000 and am looking for N4,000. I just came back from school and I have nothing left.

unNaked: uhm. what school is that? (Mr. worry worry, mind your business next time)

guy: OSU (Ogun State University)

unNaked: (after a short pause) Well, sorry oh, I can't really be of much help oh as much as I wish to help. But here (going through the change I have left after buying ice cream) is N650 I think, see what your uncle can raise you with ok.

guy: thank you bros, thank you.

unNaked: no wahala.

That was episode one of The gba'in of unNaked Soul... Can you believe that about 17days ago on my way back from work, the imp walked up to me again, obviously forgotten he has met me before (thank God I can remember everyone I have Funked or Fucked in my life regardless of when or where) and...

guy: good evening bros.

unNaked: (was on the phone about to end a conversation)

guy: (waited until i was through) good evening bros.

unNaked: hey, how now.

guy: fine. please bros, I came to see my friend (not uncle?) and he I didn't meet him at home. I want to pay for my examination fee of N5,000 (again!) and I have only N1,000 (again!!). I have being waiting from my friend since morning and I dey wonder if you can help me with money for my examination, I need only N4,000 (again!!!)...

unNaked: (In my head I was like Olosi Muthafuka) really? And do you know me?

guy: no bros, but...

unNaked: so why are you talking to me?

guy: I just saw you and I believe you can help me...

unNaked: do I look like GOD to you... nonsense!

That was episode one of The gba'in of unNaked Soul gone wrong. Just this morning, I saw the same imp chatting a woman on my street, And in my head I was like, sneaky bastard! but unlucky for the bugger, the woman jabo'd him sha. I wanted to tell him that if I see him around here again that I'll get him arrested, but a voice asked... why?

This is just one of my many experiences with story tellers...



Blogger 4wardnfiaca said...

my broda, hmm oro buruku pelu erin...
how do we really know who's being sincere about needing help anymo?

Funny stori tho

February 15, 2007 4:48 AM  
Blogger Gemini Girl aka GG said...

next time u want to help someone ask to see their registration papers!!! are TOO SWEET!!! *wink*

February 15, 2007 4:52 AM  
Blogger Simply Gorgeous said...

I have found myself in a similar predicamentwhen I was in Naija, somehow when people see they have these imaginary school fees that they have to pay. It is so hard to tell the genuine ones from fakes ones, abi?

Ehem. What is this B.J. comment you make? Please why are you such a perv?


February 15, 2007 6:14 AM  
Blogger UnNaked Soul said...

@4wardnfiaca: abi oh... na wa!

@GG: good tip... lol... thanks *wink*

@simple gorgeous: it is so crazy oh.
and about the b.j. lol... trust me you don't want to live the life of a man for 24hrs, you'll laff for 23hrs 59mins... seriously oh! LOL

February 15, 2007 6:55 AM  
Blogger TaureanMinx said...

lol, I often fall for these sob stories. What I don't know won't hurt.

February 15, 2007 6:59 AM  
Blogger tiwalade said...

hahaha..dat was too funny."gbai-in gone
seriously, unnaked soul u're a good would u even in the first place give a whole N650 to someone you don't even know on the road! Haven't you heard of peeps using the money you give them for jazz?lol! bros this is naija land you dey not anywhere else where you can be doing charity events on the road?

You should have told the guy to leave, unless he doesn't have two legs and two hands..if not why can't he work like every other normal human being?

February 15, 2007 1:05 PM  
Blogger Bella Naija said...

That's it o
U try to help someone and you get bitten in the ***
Oh well, its one of those things.
So how was your vals day unnaked?

February 15, 2007 1:17 PM  
Blogger Miss Pearse said...

something about your profile picture that.......hmmmm.

I wouldn't have given d kid that much money though...probably 100 bucks and tell him to use to for Okada to come back n c his Uncle...Genius innit.

February 15, 2007 4:57 PM  
Blogger Vera Ezimora said...


Do u know how much suya I coulda eaten with N650? Chei!

I dey miss o....

UnNaked, will u take me 2 a suya joint when I come 2 Naija?

February 15, 2007 6:07 PM  
Blogger Naijadude said...

Ah! naija, always smart and trying ti get so u drop N650 just like that? Money wey u suppose save, so if I visit naija u go carry me go buy my own ice cream, una! God dey!!!

How u take spend ur valentine now?

February 15, 2007 9:18 PM  
Blogger UnNaked Soul said...

@TMinx: true word...

@Tiwalade: yes oh, I once heard that story and I wonder if there a cosmic law that protects you from getting hurt while trying to do a favour...

@BN: My Val was filled with pranks.. LOL

@miss pearse: lol... what about my pic, hen? lol

@vera: no whala... as long as Horny your Honey won't mind, and she won't mind as well... *wink*

@naijadude: no wahala, no be just ice cream... lol
my val was filled with pranks... he he

February 16, 2007 1:18 AM  
Blogger Ms zee said...

LOL.... Pele boo...... wairramin, are you gonna tell the world about our Val pranks now eh! we said we would keep it a secret now.... hiss... infact, I am through with you.... my next stop... (whisper) GUY HORNY........... ha ha ha ha ha !!!!!!

February 16, 2007 10:06 AM  
Blogger Miss Pearse said...

lol...I'll keep my thoughts on that to myself. Have a great weekend on Portobello Road ;)

February 16, 2007 11:28 AM  
Blogger Delilah 3 said...

O ga gan, ko si ya were leko.......
dunno when people are gonna stop that shit. people like that just waste the money on booze and smokes. Your 650 just vamooze like that eeyah sorry! lol

February 16, 2007 9:48 PM  
Blogger UnNaked Soul said...

@ms zee: haba! I fitn't betray our loff now (LMAO)... hey what's with you & Guy Horny, hen? Make I go warn am now now! wetin sef?! He berra dey for bunk! Vera hope say you get bucket to cry a sea? LOL

@miss pearse: thank girl. sure, will have mad fun on portobello road... he he.

@delilah: o le gan o! thanks jare...

February 17, 2007 3:12 AM  
Anonymous Cammax7 said...

one came to meet me the other day in the cafe thinking i was a yahoo boy like hiom, telling me his partner just called him to say one money is ready and he needs 500 to take a bike to Ikeja immediately. of course i didnt answer him. the fool however met me in another cafe again ith the same story, i ignoredhim, the third time i was like ol boy, u dey craze, u no dey look face before u dey parade ur stories.

February 25, 2007 11:09 AM  
Blogger ronke said...

as a rule, i just ignore those people when they come to me... they could be kidnappers for all i know and all they want is for me to talk and bingo! i go disappear... i refuse to disappear or be their mugun... so i walk away briskly when they come to me :-)

March 01, 2007 5:54 AM  

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