RECIPE FOR HEAVEN: AN OUNCE OF TREE PLUS A HANDFULL OF A WOMAN

Everyman knows that a woman is a handful. Hold your placard down ladies. No feminism or women libration chant of war is required. This is not about you, but for you. At the time of writting this, I am so high (no, I don't do drugs or any of its relatives) and listening to Lionel Riche's SAIL ON. And this night (like evry other night), I got that same mind twitch on this issue: The difinition of heaven. What is the recipe for heaven (My definition for heaven is quite different from the ones most of us have... and don't ask me just yet. That's a topic for another discussuion).

It took me back into the Begining of things in the Bible (I just can't resist picking a thing or two from the good book), when there was a man, a woman, and a tree. The story blames the woman for almost everything and giving the man little or almost no blame (tilling the ground for food and using your procreation tool for business and pleasuere is no big deal any more - since most women face just about the same task - compare to 9months of eleru with hard labour plus the damn snake bruising the heel of your offspring ). I have a strong feeling the man, inorder to retain his pride (and save his balls) decide to add a twist to the original story (just a bit). Knowing man and his bid to rule forever, he probably made a deal with the woman (who has knocked herself out eating the friut of knowledge) saying "I'll take the blame for touching the fruit of knowledge, for you to keep your mouth shut about how much you know better than me..." And the woman asked "why?". He said "Because if Dear Lord knows you did it first, he'll send you out of the garden, and trust me, it's not a pretty sight out there. I've been here long enough to know that!" And the woman out of fear of been cast out alone, foolishly agreed.

So Dear Lord appeared, and call out the man "ADAM! ADAM!! ADAM!!!, WHERE ARE THOU?" And the man answer "Aye Lord, I am here..." Dear Lord said "WHAT ART THOU DOING THERE? COMETH OUT AND HUG DADDY..." The man replied "This man ain't moving nowhere lest you seeth him nakedeth." Dear Lord said "NAKED?! HOW DID THOU KNOWEST THEE NAKEDETH?!" Man replied "It beats the crap out of me. But I know for sure I ain't high, because I did not burn any grass today. This whole trips started after I ate something 'the woman you gave me' preparedeth for me as supper." Dear Lord aked "ART THOU HIGH OR SOMETHING?! DID YOU TAKETH FROM THE TREE I ASKED YOU NOT TO TOUCH?!" Man replied "Please ask the woman that question..." Dear Lord called out for the woman "WOMAN!" The woman replied "Aye My Lord. Thou called for me." Dear Lord asked "DID YOUR MAN EAT OUT OF THE TREE OF I WARNED HIM ABOUT?!" Woman replied "Aye My Lord..."

Remember: Dear Lord gave instruction to the man not to eat the fruit, but not the woman. ;-) I challenge you to tell me that I lie!

Silly Man, he thinks he's wise. Thinking Dear Lord would ask a different question like "Did you give man blah blah bla..." Dear Lord turned and prounced judgement on man. Knowing that man cannot be without his better half, he sent the woman out with him. The man not kowning why, and the woman thinking the man bore the punishment with her for her "transgression" decided to keep mute on the deal (the one about opening how much knowledge she has over man). What Dear Lord did was, Dear Lord told the woman that going out there with man was for a reason, and that there are no proper medical care outside the garden and for lack of medical facilities, she'll have to go through nine months of eleru with hard labour. And because the damn snake is a nuisance in the garden, he'll have to kick it out. But she should becareful because the trecherous snake will bruise the heel of your offspring if their path cross. Now, because the woman is traumatized, she heard them but could not make a sense out of it. Man seeing and hearing this, took advantage and said God has cursed her because she did not help matters.

That's the true story. Women know this, but they are bound by the pact they've made. They and the tree knows the secret to heaven. Those two are the very essential recipe for heaven. Yes I said it!

cheers!